What do YOU want to hear on Easter Sunday?

This post is thank to a friend of mine (Paul Moore) who asked on Facebook, "Could you help me out? In ten words or less, what do you think a person (who attends worship less than once a month) is looking for in Easter worship?"

 

Some of the answers, not including my own........

"A new beginning, a fresh start." 

"God's love is for everyone--no matter what." 

"Favorite songs."

"Something new. Something relevant. Something hopeful. Something real."

"Candy."

"To feel welcomed."

"To meet (his/her) obligations" because "it's tradition" to attend on Easter Sunday.

 

I'm not very good with answers in ten words or less. And when I started writing I was trending towards the cynical answer--more along the lines of the last one I shared above than the "fresh start, new beginnings." Anyway, for what it's worth, here's my full answer to the question, "What's that guy I haven't seen since Christmas looking for in Easter worship?  

 

Entering the church, bright and beautiful and smelling like lilies, and I hope for just a few simple things. I hope we won't be singing any songs I don't know. I hope it doesn't go over an hour. I hope it will be stress-free and happy. I don't want to have to think to much--or, worse yet, FEEL anything! I want to experience a good show. At least worth my time and the $20 I will generously put in the plate. 

 

And the rest of this stuff I might not think about consciously, but the truth is...... 

 

I really want to hear that it's totally OK if I only attend once a quarter or once a year, that it's OK that I only pray when someone's sick and almost never to give thanks, unless, of course, it's thanks "that I don't live like those other people do." And I want to hear that it's OK that I expect not to be challenged. Because I really don't want to be "free indeed" vs. being enslaved to the gods of my own choosing. Because I really kinda like those gods (a lot). Because, after all, they're the gods I've chosen for myself. 

 

I certainly don't want to believe MY sin is so bad as to require Good Friday. I know that if I had been in-charge (way back then) the crowd would never, never have cried out "Crucify him!" 

 

So I want to hear lots of nice and happy stuff and inspiring stuff--yes, that's right, just the kind of stuff that smiley guy on TV promises to give me: "Practical steps to encourage you to believe bigger, overcome obstacles, and live the life God has for you!" 

 

But certainly NOT the "gospel" because I can't hear the good news without first being pierced with "how great my sin and misery are" [see Heidelberg Lord's Day 1] and the horrible truth that I am inclined towards hating both God and my neighbor. 

 

I want to hear that things are still hunky-dory between me and God because I'm basically a pretty likable dude........... Right?

 

And yet.... deeper inside I know I'm not that good of a person. I'm not always that likable--especially not to those who know me the best. And even those closest to me see only part of me.  

 

Deep down I know that sometimes--even often--there is a harsh, hard, hateful me inside--a Mr. Hyde who makes me fear for my very soul because if God knows everything then how in the hell could God love me?? And I know those "practical steps" Joel Osteen talks about haven't done shit to change this dark side of me that no one, no one knows about. And, yes, yes I'd really love to be set free but nothing I've ever seen in church leads me to give any credence to this "Amazing-Grace, New Creation, Easter Transformation" stuff the preacher has talked about. 

 

Might there be a mustard seed of faith within me? I don't know. It's easier not thinking about it. It's easier just maintaining the facade. Besides it would be too horribly embarrassing to do what I really, REALLY want to do this Easter: to fall to my knees, to weep uncontrollably, to cry out, "Lord, have mercy on me, a sinner," to weep until I've let go of every pretense of being pretty much OK. 

 

And then to have Jesus take my hand in his. And he lifts me up and asks me just like he asked Peter, "Do you love me?" Peter said Yes. But I am speechless, the only honest answer being, "Jesus, I want to, but I haven't been.... you see, I believe--but help me--because I usually don't. At. all." 

 

Tears still streaming down my face and feeling as if every shred of self-esteem and self-confidence I ever thought I had is now dead... And then I feel myself being held (doubts and all) safe in the arms of the wounded, crucified, risen Jesus who says, "With everlasting love I will have compassion on you. Return to me, for I have redeemed you. Believe this: I will never leave you nor forsake you; I will never let you down and never let you go." 

 

 

Yes, that's what I'm looking for on Easter.  More than anything in the world.